Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Candy Caper draws zillions of Cops

It must have been a plot hatched during recesses and lunch periods over the course of years — gradually turning into a master plan: Breaking into a theme park, Canada’s Wonderland, under cover of night and then making the big score by taking off with candy by the bagful.

And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for the meddling York Regional Police department, who brought a helicopter, thermal imaging cameras, a canine unit, and a swack of officers to foil the bandits.
Blobs of white from the perps, huddling under some trees beside a roller-coaster. There’s a soundtrack to the calm narration of an officer describing the scene to colleagues on the ground. Cable news coverage primed us to expect such images to be followed by explosions, or gunfire, or something dramatic. But the candy thieves lay down. “We got them, they’re being cooperative” an officer’s voice says.

Chalk it up to a laughable case of mistaken overkill, but after they made the collar, York Regional Police are bragging to the entire world about it. For decades Toronto police have asked to buy a helicopter, and been told that doing so is too expensive — the usefulness of it as a crime-fighting tool doesn’t justify the cost. Citizens of York can sleep soundly assured their candy is being protected.