Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Jennifer Laidlaw, Peter Laidlaw - King Henry's Arms, Richmond Hill, Toronto


Jennifer Laidlaw
Lets put them together for licensed establishment mavens Mr. Peter Laidlaw and Mrs. Jennifer Laidlaw. And the Laidlaw's claim to infamy is what exactly?

Well the Laidlaws take the amazing cake for the most disgusting and worst maintained 'dive bar' this monkey has EVER seen in this semi-long lifetime, EVER. No we're not being dramatic, it really is THAT bad.

A better name for this establishment is King Henry's Anus because it is a dirty, dark hole that stinks 100% like asshole.
And how bad can it be you ask? Well experiencing is believing that's for darn sure.

Walk in the door and the first wall you see is a beat to chit mess, actually EVERY wall is a dirty, beat to chit mess. The woodwork has no finish left at all. The floors, well, unknown what decade they were laid down but it appears some dope painted them black and very poorly in the 50s.

The windows have not been cleaned in so long they are opaque ... ie they don't allow light to pass through.
ALL the seats are ripped from a zillion dirty bums, every door looks like something out of a horror movie.

It goes on and on. This establishment has not seen any maintenance of any kind for a decade at least. A better guess might be several decades. It is offensive, it is disgusting. It is enough to make a body lose their lunch, if the overwhelming stench of rancid grease doesn't do it first.
From what we can gather in a few hours Mr. Peter Laidlaw and Mrs Jennifer Laidlaw are doing very very well financially. Money is not the issue, unless they cannot possibly get enough of it.

Peter Laidlaw
So what is their excuse exactly for exposing their customers to mountains of filth for what must be years on end? No idea. They obviously take no pride whatever in their business. They treat it like they treat their customers ... with as little concern as humanly possible towards a cash cow.

So we are laying down the "King Henry's Anus Challenge". We challenge anybody, with a stomach strong enough that is, to march into that dive bar and DENY that it's the worst dump they have ever seen or experienced.

Jennifer Laidlaw
Finally. Are we being unduly and unfairly harsh on the 'poor' Laidlaws? We think not. It takes plenty to disgust this monkey past the breaking point. I complained as politely as humanly possible and I instantly had 3 (countem) dummies telling me to go fuk myself. Apparently saying the emperor has no clothes is a crime around those filthy parts in itself.

Perhaps this should be a part of the "King Henry's Anus Challenge" as well.